Me-Sitting, aka Hagrid-Leaks

So, due to the "holidays," as the humans call them, I was virtually abandoned for a week last month. It was a rather cruel trick, in all honesty: SM & SD went to the airport, and then SD came back, but only for a little while, and then he left too! I was very concerned, although I did my best to hide it by pretending to be asleep on the couch.

I wiled away several hours by pretending, and then, much to my surprise, who should come to rescue me but my guardian angel, Kate, my Dog Sitter (DS)! The following is her account of my Christmas/New Year's week, with only the smallest of editorial comments from me, her fearless companion.

Dec. 24: Hagrid (that's me!) is being really friendly and obedient. (That's how I sucker them in. And they never see it coming...) And cute. (Awww! She's gonna make me blush.) He went out to pee at [redacted redacted] (we don't need to hear about all that, now, do we? No, of course not. Let's get back to the good stuff. No one needs to hear about my every bowel movement or snow-coloring attempt. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here!) Now he is eating.
I took him out at 10:00 and he [redacted] then enjoyed some snow, but not too much. (Everything in moderation, I say.)

Dec. 25: I let Hagrid out at 8:00 (no sleeping in on Christmas morning for this dog, no sirree!) He slept on his mat last night (again, lulling her into a false sense of awww-ness), but he [redacted] outside then came in for some food and now he is enjoying the exciting world outside of the back window. (There's just so much to see, and so much going on! As Steven Tyler said, I don't want to miss a thing!) At 6:00pm I let him outside and he [redacted] then he came in for some food. He ate it all and is now lying comfortably on the couch. (I always lay comfortably on the couch! It's the only way to lay, really. Or is that lie? I can never remember...)

Dec. 26: Hagrid went out at 8:00 to [redacted] and then came inside to eat breakfast. (Notice a trend here?) Shortly after went for a long walk by the creek. He [redacted] and smelled all of the sites. When we got back he fell asleep on his bed for about 4 hours. At least I think he was sleeping, he had his eyes slightly open, but it was cute. (Really? I do that when I sleep? Huh. I thought only SD did that. Interesting...) I let him out again at 3 and we ran around the backyard for a few minutes. Then he had dinner at 6 and went out shortly after, then again at 11.

Dec. 27: Hagrid was fed at 7 and then at 8:30 we went for a walk. (Two walks, two days! Unheard of!) On the way he saw a stick on the sidewalk. When he did, he turned back to smile at me and then grabbed it and kind of started dancing. (Well of course! Doesn't everyone do the Happy Stick Dance?) He was so overjoyed that he gripped the stick too hard and snapped it in half, it was adorable. (There's that aww-ness again!) He [redacted] on the walk and is now curled up on the office floor. Later at 6 he ate dinner and shortly after went out for a [redacted] then again later that night.

Dec. 28: Hagrid had breakfast at 7:45 and then went out for a [redacted] around 8:00, now he is lying down in the living room. At noon we went for a pretty good walk around the neighborhood and so now he is sleeping. Actually he is passed out on the couch. (Passed out is a bit strong, don't you think? How about 'recuperating?')He ate supper a bit later than usual, at 7:00. At 10:30 he went out one more time and I just gave him his bedtime snack. Goodnight Hagrid!

Dec. 29: Hagrid and I woke up at 8:15 this morning and we did our usual routine of "outside-breakfast-outside." Hagrid watched some TV with me for a bit in the afternoon. We went for a walk at 3:30. Hagrid was funny with sticks again. He is so goofy. Hagrid lounged while I ran some errands. He had supper at 6:15. At 10:00 he went outside and [redacted]. In a little bit it will be time for bed. Mr. Hagrid had a very relaxing day. (I'll say! Now if only I could talk SD & SM into doing this.)

Dec. 30: Hagrid and I woke up at 7 and had breakfast at 7:30. We went for a walk at 10. (Attention Humans: Notice how every day I get a walk? Think you could keep that up? Maybe? Perhaps? No? Not likely? Didn't think so.) It wasn't a very long walk because it was raining but Hagrid still had fun. I vacuumed today because there was a lot of Hagrid hair on the ground. (A dog will shed.)Hagrid had supper at 5:30 and then went straight outside to go to the bathroom. At 11:00 he went outside once more and then I gave him some kibbles of food on his bed and he knew what time it was. He gave me a kiss goodnight. Aw Hagrid. (By this time I had her right where I wanted her!)

Dec. 31: Happy New Year's Eve, Hagrid! We woke up at 8 and went straight outside. He [redacted]. He already ate breakfast and now he is staring out the living room window. (That's Puppy-TV Channel 3, in case you were wondering. Mostly reruns this time of year.) He is a very good dog. (Well, I was raised well.) We went for a walk at 11. We kept it short because Hagrid and I were slipping all over the sidewalks. Afterwards, I gave Hagrid a chew and he was amused by that for a couple of hours. Hagrid ate supper pretty early today at 4:30 because I had to leave for work by 5. After supper, he [redacted] outside. I got home from work at 11:45 and Hagrid went straight outside. My mom, my brother, and their small Yorkie, Monkey, came over for New Year's Eve. Hagrid looked at Monkey like he was a bit confused as to what she was because she's so small, but Hagrid didn't mind her presence and just got up on the couch next to me as we all watched Finding Nemo. (I love that movie!) It's time to go to bed now! (You're telling me! This is really late for a dog of my age!)

Jan. 1: Happy New Year, Hagrid! He slept in the bed with me last night. It was really cute. (It was nice and cozy warm, too!) Hagrid ate breakfast at 8:15 this morning. He then spent a lot of time outside eating snow. Silly Hagrid! :-)

That's all, folks! My last week of 2010, with every single [redacted] and walk accounted for. I think I might have gotten more walks in that last week than I did during all of the previous month! Now, if only I can continue this trend...without SD & SM having to fly off to foreign places.

Hip-hop-happy New Year!

2011? Really?

How did this happen? Last I checked, it was still spring, or at least summer, one of those warmer months. And now, all of a sudden, not only is it winter, but it's 2011?! Holy cat-poop, Snoopy!

Well, first off, let me quickly fill you in on the major happenings that have occurred since my last writing. Most significantly, SD & SM got engaged(!)--whatever that means. They've already spent most of my lifetime together, and it's only now that they've determined that they should stay together? What took so long? And do I need to be worried about new puppies?

On another note, I haven't gotten any younger since we last spoke. In fact, this whole "getting old" business is rubbish, I tell you. One day you're out in the park, showing those young whippersnappers who's boss, and the next thing you know you're getting bounced by some little yearling and having to crumple to the floor because your hips won't cooperate. SD calls it "body rot." I call it just plain rotten. Oh to be young and carefree again, as opposed to my current status of older and carefree. Don't let anyone tell you that age doesn't matter--whoever says that isn't old enough to know better.

In other news, this past December (2010) was so snowy ("How snowy was it?!") that the roof of the Hubert (what a funny name--Hubert! Heh!) H. Humphrey (was that the only letter available that year? I mean, Hagrid, of course, but I'm Hagrid Benya--you can find me on the Book of Faces--not Hagrid Hallelujah, or something absurd like that--not that he didn't do great things, or so I've been told--but I digress...) Metrodome collapsed! That's a lot of snow, folks. Although, apparently, this is not the first time, nor even the second, for such thing to occur. All I can say is that I'm glad my roof hasn't collapsed due to snow, or any other reason. I don't think I would respond well to collapsing roofs.

I think that's enough for one post, don't you? I think I'm supposed to leave you wanting more, so you'll have to tune in next when you'll hear me say: "SNnnnooooooowwwwww!!!!" Or something like that.

A Quick Update

Well hello there. I didn't hear you come in, or I would have met you at the door. I do apologize.

Well, let's get down to business, shall we? I know it's been a while, but Second Mom (SM) & Second Dad (SD) are both "busy" with their school work, and it takes a lot of whining in order to get someone to transcribe for me. But I have finally succeeded in getting my tail in edgewise, so here goes!

Apparently, when no one was looking, winter up and left. The snow was there, all white and cold, and then, seemingly the next day, the grass was green and there wasn't an icicle to be seen. I was suspicious, but I do enjoy rolling in the grass more than rolling in the snow. Although I enjoy eating snow more than eating grass. It's a difficult position I've put myself in, but somehow I persevere.

One surprise that spring brought was a pool! SD magically produced a pool from the garage a few weeks ago, and now I have my very own little blue kiddie pool! While it's not deep enough to swim in, let alone do laps, I can still bite the water and keep it in line.



Here I am in my younger days, working on my form. Notice the correctly folded-back ears, the firm grip of the teeth, and the strong forward stroke of the front legs. Efficiency, folks, efficiency!



And finally, I try not to be too political, at least publicly, but I read this the other day and just couldn't help myself: (In reference to the recent climate legislation efforts being undertaken by the U.S. Congress, and the 30+ environmental groups who are pushing for its passage before the summer recess.) "Ponies will not descend from the heavens magically bearing Republican Senators who don’t filibuster every bill. "

No, I don't understand what this whole "Congress" thing is, or what a "summer recess" is, or even how one filibusters. My guess is that it involves a dog named Buster, and lots of food. But anyhow, if you do happen to see some magical ponies descending from the heavens, for goodness sake watch out you don't walk underneath one. Falling manure can be hazardous for your health, or so I've been told.

'Tis all for now - watch out for flying ponies!

Happy Birthday to Meeeeee!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Me!

Ten years ago today, I showed up as a not-so-big, probably somewhat slimy, yet oh-so-adorably cute, ball of fur. Not ball of fluff, that would be Orion, but cute nonetheless. And now, a whole entire decade later, here I am! Full of a lust for life, and snow, and naps. Ain't life grand?

So let's see, what has my day entailed? Well, I had a wonderful snooze in the morning, and then I got to wake up the Humans. It was past 7AM, so they should really thank me, weekend or not. Plus, it's my birthday! I only get one of those each year (although, shouldn't I get seven per human year?) so I've got to make each minute count! That was followed by the usual bathroom break, and then breakfast. But then, unlike a normal day where everybody leaves me, I got to snuggle on the couch while we watched TV! Oh, it was great - human laps really do make nice pillows. From there, it was a series of naps, stretches, yawns, another nap, and then a serious brushing (outside, no less!) and, then, a walk! A glorious, wonderful, tiring walk! Oh how I loved it.

After the walk, I got a paw-dicure, and then a delicious chew, and then it was time for another nap. I have since completed that nap, and thought I would toss this together for all my well-wishers out there, in case, you know, it slipped your mind or something. Have no fear, I am well: well-rested, well-fed, well-walked, well-brushed, and, well, well.

That's all, folks!

Where do you think you're going?

Leaving? What do you mean, leaving? You just got here! I behaved while you were at work, and now you come home, let me outside to do my business -- remind me again why I can't just go inside? It's nice and warm there... -- toss some food in my bowl, drop your European Carryall and grab another bag, and then you're out the door like some traveling salesman! What's up with that?! Honestly, Second Dad, you need to take a moment, slow down, and play with me. I've been home all day, all alone, with only the couch to keep me company, and he's starting to smell. Oh, sure, I can carry the tennis ball around for a while, but it's not nearly as fun as when you chase me around the place.

I'd like to blame it on winter, but I know that's not the case. Silly school. And work. You know, Second Dad, I have this great, foolproof plan for getting out of school and work. You just say that you're "not compatible" with anything they offer you. It worked great for me! Of course, I did have to go all the way through school... maybe on second thought you shouldn't try that. See, the plan was foolproof, is foolproof, it's just that neither one of us is a fool, and so we saw right through it. Good work - glad to see you've got your head on straight. Atta Boy!

Just remember - all sleep and no play makes Hagrid a very persistent furry ball of energy!

"The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more." ~ Jonas Salk

What do you think?

Trick question: Do I want to go for a walk? Or perhaps it's rhetorical. I can never really keep the two straight, although that is mainly because I can't pronounce "rhetorical." I blame it on my jowls. They're lovely jowls, don't get me wrong, they just inhibit my ability to enunciate. That's genetics for ya!

Anyways, are you really asking me that? Do I want to go for a walk? You're kidding, right? Try this one on for size: When do I not want to go for a walk? Take today for instance - it's beautifully sunny, blinding even; it's above freezing, which for the middle of January is impressive in its own right; and there's snow on the ground, just waiting for me to sneak up and devour it. What's missing from this picture, you ask? That's right, absolutely nothing, besides me going for a walk. Which is just what I spent the last hour doing, as a matter of fact, dragging Second Dad over hill and dale, under bridges, through snowbanks, down along frozen creek beds, and just generally enjoying winter.

So with that done, I think I can now indulge myself in a well-deserved nap. So it's off to the couch, folks. If you need me, just, oh I don't know, ask me if I want to go on a walk or something....

Toodles!

*P.S.: I just had a great idea. Wouldn't Toodles be a great name for a poodle? Toodles the Poodle! Hah! Haha! Hehe! Oh, I crack myself up. Allright, back to the nap.

My, how time flies!

Hi again dear readers,

I must apologize for my extended absence. Unintentional, I assure you. Second Dad (& Second Mom, too, now that I think of it) were both busy with school, and thus unable to transcribe for me. But they've got some down time now, so we should be able to get back in the saddle relatively quickly. I do have some good stories to pass along, such as my Halloween shenanigans, and the recent fun I've been having in the snow. (It's now winter, and that means snow!)

Anyways, just wanted to let you all know that I hadn't forgotten about you or this blog, and that I'll be back with more soon! So stay tuned for future updates. They say that patience is a virtue, after all.... although that was not something that was always followed at home. Orion, you know what I'm talking about!