Me-Sitting, aka Hagrid-Leaks

So, due to the "holidays," as the humans call them, I was virtually abandoned for a week last month. It was a rather cruel trick, in all honesty: SM & SD went to the airport, and then SD came back, but only for a little while, and then he left too! I was very concerned, although I did my best to hide it by pretending to be asleep on the couch.

I wiled away several hours by pretending, and then, much to my surprise, who should come to rescue me but my guardian angel, Kate, my Dog Sitter (DS)! The following is her account of my Christmas/New Year's week, with only the smallest of editorial comments from me, her fearless companion.

Dec. 24: Hagrid (that's me!) is being really friendly and obedient. (That's how I sucker them in. And they never see it coming...) And cute. (Awww! She's gonna make me blush.) He went out to pee at [redacted redacted] (we don't need to hear about all that, now, do we? No, of course not. Let's get back to the good stuff. No one needs to hear about my every bowel movement or snow-coloring attempt. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here!) Now he is eating.
I took him out at 10:00 and he [redacted] then enjoyed some snow, but not too much. (Everything in moderation, I say.)

Dec. 25: I let Hagrid out at 8:00 (no sleeping in on Christmas morning for this dog, no sirree!) He slept on his mat last night (again, lulling her into a false sense of awww-ness), but he [redacted] outside then came in for some food and now he is enjoying the exciting world outside of the back window. (There's just so much to see, and so much going on! As Steven Tyler said, I don't want to miss a thing!) At 6:00pm I let him outside and he [redacted] then he came in for some food. He ate it all and is now lying comfortably on the couch. (I always lay comfortably on the couch! It's the only way to lay, really. Or is that lie? I can never remember...)

Dec. 26: Hagrid went out at 8:00 to [redacted] and then came inside to eat breakfast. (Notice a trend here?) Shortly after went for a long walk by the creek. He [redacted] and smelled all of the sites. When we got back he fell asleep on his bed for about 4 hours. At least I think he was sleeping, he had his eyes slightly open, but it was cute. (Really? I do that when I sleep? Huh. I thought only SD did that. Interesting...) I let him out again at 3 and we ran around the backyard for a few minutes. Then he had dinner at 6 and went out shortly after, then again at 11.

Dec. 27: Hagrid was fed at 7 and then at 8:30 we went for a walk. (Two walks, two days! Unheard of!) On the way he saw a stick on the sidewalk. When he did, he turned back to smile at me and then grabbed it and kind of started dancing. (Well of course! Doesn't everyone do the Happy Stick Dance?) He was so overjoyed that he gripped the stick too hard and snapped it in half, it was adorable. (There's that aww-ness again!) He [redacted] on the walk and is now curled up on the office floor. Later at 6 he ate dinner and shortly after went out for a [redacted] then again later that night.

Dec. 28: Hagrid had breakfast at 7:45 and then went out for a [redacted] around 8:00, now he is lying down in the living room. At noon we went for a pretty good walk around the neighborhood and so now he is sleeping. Actually he is passed out on the couch. (Passed out is a bit strong, don't you think? How about 'recuperating?')He ate supper a bit later than usual, at 7:00. At 10:30 he went out one more time and I just gave him his bedtime snack. Goodnight Hagrid!

Dec. 29: Hagrid and I woke up at 8:15 this morning and we did our usual routine of "outside-breakfast-outside." Hagrid watched some TV with me for a bit in the afternoon. We went for a walk at 3:30. Hagrid was funny with sticks again. He is so goofy. Hagrid lounged while I ran some errands. He had supper at 6:15. At 10:00 he went outside and [redacted]. In a little bit it will be time for bed. Mr. Hagrid had a very relaxing day. (I'll say! Now if only I could talk SD & SM into doing this.)

Dec. 30: Hagrid and I woke up at 7 and had breakfast at 7:30. We went for a walk at 10. (Attention Humans: Notice how every day I get a walk? Think you could keep that up? Maybe? Perhaps? No? Not likely? Didn't think so.) It wasn't a very long walk because it was raining but Hagrid still had fun. I vacuumed today because there was a lot of Hagrid hair on the ground. (A dog will shed.)Hagrid had supper at 5:30 and then went straight outside to go to the bathroom. At 11:00 he went outside once more and then I gave him some kibbles of food on his bed and he knew what time it was. He gave me a kiss goodnight. Aw Hagrid. (By this time I had her right where I wanted her!)

Dec. 31: Happy New Year's Eve, Hagrid! We woke up at 8 and went straight outside. He [redacted]. He already ate breakfast and now he is staring out the living room window. (That's Puppy-TV Channel 3, in case you were wondering. Mostly reruns this time of year.) He is a very good dog. (Well, I was raised well.) We went for a walk at 11. We kept it short because Hagrid and I were slipping all over the sidewalks. Afterwards, I gave Hagrid a chew and he was amused by that for a couple of hours. Hagrid ate supper pretty early today at 4:30 because I had to leave for work by 5. After supper, he [redacted] outside. I got home from work at 11:45 and Hagrid went straight outside. My mom, my brother, and their small Yorkie, Monkey, came over for New Year's Eve. Hagrid looked at Monkey like he was a bit confused as to what she was because she's so small, but Hagrid didn't mind her presence and just got up on the couch next to me as we all watched Finding Nemo. (I love that movie!) It's time to go to bed now! (You're telling me! This is really late for a dog of my age!)

Jan. 1: Happy New Year, Hagrid! He slept in the bed with me last night. It was really cute. (It was nice and cozy warm, too!) Hagrid ate breakfast at 8:15 this morning. He then spent a lot of time outside eating snow. Silly Hagrid! :-)

That's all, folks! My last week of 2010, with every single [redacted] and walk accounted for. I think I might have gotten more walks in that last week than I did during all of the previous month! Now, if only I can continue this trend...without SD & SM having to fly off to foreign places.

Hip-hop-happy New Year!

Happy Birthday to Meeeeee!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Me!

Ten years ago today, I showed up as a not-so-big, probably somewhat slimy, yet oh-so-adorably cute, ball of fur. Not ball of fluff, that would be Orion, but cute nonetheless. And now, a whole entire decade later, here I am! Full of a lust for life, and snow, and naps. Ain't life grand?

So let's see, what has my day entailed? Well, I had a wonderful snooze in the morning, and then I got to wake up the Humans. It was past 7AM, so they should really thank me, weekend or not. Plus, it's my birthday! I only get one of those each year (although, shouldn't I get seven per human year?) so I've got to make each minute count! That was followed by the usual bathroom break, and then breakfast. But then, unlike a normal day where everybody leaves me, I got to snuggle on the couch while we watched TV! Oh, it was great - human laps really do make nice pillows. From there, it was a series of naps, stretches, yawns, another nap, and then a serious brushing (outside, no less!) and, then, a walk! A glorious, wonderful, tiring walk! Oh how I loved it.

After the walk, I got a paw-dicure, and then a delicious chew, and then it was time for another nap. I have since completed that nap, and thought I would toss this together for all my well-wishers out there, in case, you know, it slipped your mind or something. Have no fear, I am well: well-rested, well-fed, well-walked, well-brushed, and, well, well.

That's all, folks!

Where do you think you're going?

Leaving? What do you mean, leaving? You just got here! I behaved while you were at work, and now you come home, let me outside to do my business -- remind me again why I can't just go inside? It's nice and warm there... -- toss some food in my bowl, drop your European Carryall and grab another bag, and then you're out the door like some traveling salesman! What's up with that?! Honestly, Second Dad, you need to take a moment, slow down, and play with me. I've been home all day, all alone, with only the couch to keep me company, and he's starting to smell. Oh, sure, I can carry the tennis ball around for a while, but it's not nearly as fun as when you chase me around the place.

I'd like to blame it on winter, but I know that's not the case. Silly school. And work. You know, Second Dad, I have this great, foolproof plan for getting out of school and work. You just say that you're "not compatible" with anything they offer you. It worked great for me! Of course, I did have to go all the way through school... maybe on second thought you shouldn't try that. See, the plan was foolproof, is foolproof, it's just that neither one of us is a fool, and so we saw right through it. Good work - glad to see you've got your head on straight. Atta Boy!

Just remember - all sleep and no play makes Hagrid a very persistent furry ball of energy!

"The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more." ~ Jonas Salk

What do you think?

Trick question: Do I want to go for a walk? Or perhaps it's rhetorical. I can never really keep the two straight, although that is mainly because I can't pronounce "rhetorical." I blame it on my jowls. They're lovely jowls, don't get me wrong, they just inhibit my ability to enunciate. That's genetics for ya!

Anyways, are you really asking me that? Do I want to go for a walk? You're kidding, right? Try this one on for size: When do I not want to go for a walk? Take today for instance - it's beautifully sunny, blinding even; it's above freezing, which for the middle of January is impressive in its own right; and there's snow on the ground, just waiting for me to sneak up and devour it. What's missing from this picture, you ask? That's right, absolutely nothing, besides me going for a walk. Which is just what I spent the last hour doing, as a matter of fact, dragging Second Dad over hill and dale, under bridges, through snowbanks, down along frozen creek beds, and just generally enjoying winter.

So with that done, I think I can now indulge myself in a well-deserved nap. So it's off to the couch, folks. If you need me, just, oh I don't know, ask me if I want to go on a walk or something....

Toodles!

*P.S.: I just had a great idea. Wouldn't Toodles be a great name for a poodle? Toodles the Poodle! Hah! Haha! Hehe! Oh, I crack myself up. Allright, back to the nap.

Summer Vacation

The Humans have left me. This time, I fear, for good.

It's been almost two weeks since I last saw them - they brought me over to visit Super Fuzz, but I was suspicious from the start. There was way too much food in the car, and they brought my bed as well. The only glimmer of hope is that they did not bring my crate. No crate usually means that they will return. I'm keeping my toes crossed that that is the case - Super Fuzz has already head-butted the sofa and lost once, and I don't know if I can take much more of it. I was laughing so hard I almost wet the floor. Luckily, they pulled the carpet up some time ago, so cleanup would be a cinch.

But anyways, regardless of my fears, I hope that they return. I miss them. I miss the quiet. It's so very hard to nap around here, even when Super Fuzz and I are on our own. I don't know what that boy eats, but he sure does have a lot of energy. Luckily, I get the sofa all to myself at night. Ha, seniority rules!

Furniture I Have Owned

As a dog, I do not have easy access to money. While my humans do graciously buy me things such as food, toys, chewy things, and the like - as they should - what I am most grateful for is furniture. See, as a seeing-eye dog, or guide dog for the blind as we are sometimes called, we are trained from a very young age. We are trained in the basics - sit, stay, come, etc. - but we are also introduced to all of these strange sights, sounds and smells that your average dog (like a collie, for instance, with their pointy little noses and pinched brains) never gets to experience. In addition to all of this, we are trained specifically not to get up on furniture. Couches, beds, tables, chairs, love seats or Barcaloungers, it's all off limits. (I particularly like that last one: Barcalounger. It just has a certain ring to it, but I can't quite place it....) So, everything is off limits, except - Except! - for my last day of home schooling. On that one day, and that one day only, I was allowed up on the bed. And boooyyyy, was it worth the wait! So soft, so squishy, the right amount of support in the right places, no unnecessary hems or fringe or tassels or flug, just a nice, wide, super dog-size expanse of comforter. And, and, I didn't have to share. It was mine, all mine, just for me. Then I loaded up the car and went to Official Guide Dog School, and didn't see a comfy bed again for months. Elation, quickly followed by crushing disappointment. Story of my life.

Years passed. Things happened - I'll fill you in on the details sometime. Fastforward to 2004, when I'm invited to a new home in Washington. Tacoma, to be precise. It was nice - not L.A. nice, mind you, but it was still a great experience. There, in that cozy (occasionally loud) home near the Puget Sound, I got my very own couch. I was so happy!

(This is my first couch, in L.A., not Tacoma. I had to share this one with my original Alpha humans, so it wasn't quite as special as the Tacoma couch. That one was leather. And mine all mine!)

So that was good for a year. Then I decided that I liked a slightly drier climate, so I moved back to L.A. That was fun, but now I'm in Minneapolis. And you know what? Dare I say it, at many times it is soooo much better! There is this wonderful thing called snow (which I blogged about earlier... if you haven't read it yet, I suggest you go do that now. Don't worry, I'll wait.) and there are lakes and creeks to swim in, and places to go running (off leash, too!). Plus, as an additional bonus, I have three different pieces of furniture at my disposal. First, there's my bed. Yes, my bed. Observe:

Well, right bed, wrong zip code, but you get the point. It's mine, all mine! From there, I have moved on to bigger beds (pictures unavailable at this time - I'm so sneaky the puppyrazzi can't catch me with their fancy cameras). I have also invaded a large half of the couch, of which I am slowly usurping two-thirds of. Soon it will all be mine, bwahahahaha!

So that's my current inventory of places comfier than the floor. If you have any good suggestions of possible additions to my collection, do please let me know. I am always on the lookout for new items.

Well, that's all for now. I will leave you with a short quote, as I am feeling particularly Renaissance Dog-ish today:

"A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. ~O.A. Battista"