In days of yore...

In days of yore, the famous - and infamous - had nicknames, monikers if you will. Or so I've been told. Richard the Lion-hearted, Eric the Red, William the Bruce, William the Conqueror, Bob the Builder, etc. I myself have a nickname - well, nicknames, really - none of which I have chosen, but most of which fit me quite well, if I do say so. And I do.

Some of these nicknames play off of my name, while others refer to character traits (I am quite the character, after all) or physical traits that I exude. Which, by the way, sounds like something you wouldn't want to lick up... "Eww, he exuded! Gross!"

Here is what I am sure is an incomplete list of my akas (that's Also Known As-es), along with a brief description why. Enjoy!

Hagridpants - Apparently my hind legs resemble some sort of pants... either that or I pant a lot?
Mr. Pants - See above; the more formal version of Hagridpants, primarily used for strangers I don't know yet
Haggy - I have no idea, it just happened one day. I have very little control over these things.
Haggers - Ditto.
Goofball - On occassion, I can be a little goofy. But just a little.
Goofy one - A variation of goofball, I presume.
Fishboy - I love to swim!

And now to my lineage, which is apparently rather varied. I had no idea, honest. I have been told that I am part-:
Lion - Have you seen my mane? Quite lion-ish.
Bear - I'm guessing this was before I went on that diet... or perhaps it refers to my hibernation abilities.
Mouse - I think this refers to my face, more specifically my nose... should I be upset?
Bat - Not really sure about this one. Perhaps my ears? I'll have to get back to you.
Dragon - I believe it's all in the tail... although rumors of my breath being able to whither flowers and scare small children may have something to do with it.
Fish - See nickname above. I think I was a fish in a previous life, perhaps a tuna. Maybe a marlin? Some days I'm more fish-out-of-water, though...

I believe that there are others, both nicknames and lineage markers, but that's all I can come up with at the moment. I'll have my Humans go over the lists later and add to them as necessary. Happy napping!

Oh, almost forgot - quotage below!

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret

It's all in the nose, buddy. All in the nose.

My Big Birthday Bash! (Well, not so much, really)

Today is my birthday! Or so I am told. Of course, being my birthday, today should have been all about me. But naturally, one of the Humans left me (I don't know where she went to, but she took a very large bag with her. Suffice it to say, I am worried.). The other one, the one who gets upset with me when I spend too much time wandering around the yard eating snow, and not going to the bathroom like he wants me to, is gone for many naps at a time. Luckily, I know how to hold my bladder, otherwise he would have some wet gifts when he got home. However, he was very nice today and took me on a long walk in the spring-ish sunshine this afternoon. I was planning on having a big party with all of my other dog friends, but then I realized that a) I hadn't invited anyone, b) there really wasn't anything special to eat or drink, and c) post-walk I was a little too tired to have a party, especially one where I would have to clean up afterwards. So no party. I did get a chew, however, plus a card from the non-present Human. So that was nice. Not nearly what I was expecting, mind you, but nice nonetheless.

If my plan had come together, it's entirely possible that the party would have been a blast, with plenty of friends in attendance and lots of excitement. Unfortunately, the last time that happened, my recovery the next day was not something to be proud of. Observe:


Yeah, that's me, at college. Woof, that was a rough night. Obviously, I survived, but I stayed away from canned food for a while after that one.

Belated birthday wishes (and presents, naturally) are always welcome. Talk to the Humans if you need to. Till next time!

Playing Outside

Today, like other days in my past, but not like every day, I got to go for a walk. It was our usual walk, with a fun amble down to the local wide-open snowy area, followed by plenty of snow-eating and running around. The biggest problem I have with all of this is the time needed for my Humans to get ready to go walking. They ask me if I'm ready, and of course I say yes, because what self-respecting Dog doesn't want to go for a walk? So they get me my collars, and choose a leash, and I'm all excited and ready to go, and then they have the nerve to sit down! Honestly! They take forever to put on more and more layers, big clunky paws and coats so big you'd think they would be panting. And sometimes, if it's really cold, they put on extra fluffy leg warmers. I, of course, being a Dog, was born ready to go, and so I spend this entire time whining and complaining, because they got me all excited and now I have to hurry up and wait. They really need to rethink the order of things here.

However, once they've turned themselves into walking marshmallows (ooohhhh, marshmallows... Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Hooo, so good!) and we finally get outside, then we - and by we I mean I - can get down to business. Sniffing, of course, and marking my territory, naturally, are tops on the list. But those are both closely followed, or more accurately bracketed by, eating snow, which I've already mentioned ad nauseum. I just want you to understand exactly how much I like snow. The answer is mucho, or tres, depending upon your location. (I know, I know, I surprised you with my knowledge of other languages. Never underestimate the power of a good education. Plus, I had good teachers.) Yes, I like Snow the way I like a good rawhide chew: squishy, crunchy, and edible, all at the same time, no waiting.

Well, now that I'm back from the walk, and I've got most of my thoughts down here, I think it's time for a post-walk nap. By the time I wake up, it'll be close to dinner time, and I'll get to go outside and eat some more snow, and then we can play, and then I can relax into my post-dinner siesta, and ... well, you get the point.

No quote today - they've gotta be just right, you know? Tally-ho!